DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Joss et al own them. =(
FEEDBACK: I'd love you forever
RATING: G
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, this is set in season four, Angel left, Oz left, but Buffy's not with Riley and Willow's not with Tara. Just as a warning, I don't like Riley or Tara, so if you do like them, you might not want to read this.
DEDICATION: As always, to my wonderful beta, Shae. And to Steph, because I know she wants Riley and Tara to be destroyed just as much as I do. =)

Riley Finn skipped happily down the street, wearing his favourite magenta t-shirt. He was off to see Buffy, the girl he was madly in love with. He thought. This was a rather pompous thought, as he and Buffy had only spoken once or twice, and always about school. He arrived at Stevenson and bounced up the stairs to her dorm, cheerfully whistling the Barney song, unaware that a demon lurking in the shadows had been following him.

*****

Willow raced up to her dorm room as quickly as she could, and burst in. Buffy was sitting on her bed, reading.

"What's up Will?" Buffy asked, worried that the world was in peril.

"Riley," she gasped. "Is.on.his.way.up," she managed to get out between gasps of air.

"Oh, no!" Buffy moaned. Her psych TA had started showing up everywhere, and though she usually managed to avoid him, once or twice she had been forced to make conversation with him. The conversation had been strained and awkward, and Riley had been extremely enthusiastic about cows. "Do I have time to get out?"

Willow shook her head. "I just barely beat him up the stairs, and only because I took the ones around the back. You could hide?" Willow suggested.

"Would you cover for me?"

"Of course," Willow managed to get out, just before they heard the knock. Buffy nodded, and scurried into the closet. Willow put on a smile and went to the door. "Oh, hi Riley."

"Hi Willow. Can I come in?" he asked, brushing his greasy hair out of his eyes. Willow stepped back in an unworded invitation. Riley came in.

"Is Buffy here?" Riley asked, looking around the room in confusion. < How can she not be here? I know she doesn't have a class, because I looked up her schedule, and she wasn't downstairs in the common room, so where could she be? >

"Nope, sorry. I'll tell her you stopped by though," Willow replied, hoping he'd get the hint and leave.

Unfortunately, Riley was so engrossed in thoughts about how great he was; that he just sat down on Buffy's bed. "Can I ask you something Willow?" he questioned, and then barreled on without waiting for a reply. "Can you help me get together with Buffy? I mean, I know I could do it on my own. Come on, who wouldn't fall for a great guy like me, but I just thought if you'd help me, it'd be easier."

"Oh, shoot. Riley, I have to go. I have a class in like, five minutes and I don't want to be late for it." Willow lied, getting up quickly and grabbing her books. "So, I guess I'll see you in psych, right?" Willow asked, hurrying him to the door. "Bye!" she called as she practically threw him out of her room. When she closed the door behind him, she sighed in relief. "You can come out now," Willow told Buffy.

"Oh my goodness, I've never heard anyone more pompous in all of my life!" Buffy cried as she came out of the closet.

"I know. Buffy, I'm sorry I ever encouraged you to date him." The two girls collapsed in a fit of giggles, and forgot all about a fish boy named Riley.

*******

It was late evening, and Riley was still wandering the campus in a daze. He just couldn't understand it. He'd spent the whole day searching for Buffy. He wanted to tell her that he liked her, and that he knew she liked him, and how they should date, and then get married, buy a big farm in Iowa and raise cows and children together. What girl wouldn't be thrilled. And yet, she was no where to be found.

In the shadows behind him, the demon that had been tailing him all day was preparing to make it's move. It was the Riley-eating monster, and it had been tracking this boy for months. Carefully separating all the scents in the air, until it finally established the scent that was it's prey. He was the one.

Riley, on the other hand was not paying attention at all. In his mind, he was picturing his farm in Iowa, and Bessie, his favourite cow. Buffy had been so interested when he had told her about his farm, that he was bold enough to share his memories of Bessie.

Suddenly, he fell over. And landed on something soft. A person. A girl.

"Oh, sorry, I uh, didn't see you there," Riley said, thinking this was the smoothest line ever.

The girl looked at him. Tara recognized him, vaguely, as one of the people she had seen Willow talk to. "Um, t-t-that's o-o-okay," she stuttered. Unfortunately, in the tumble, Tara had been covered in Riley's scent, since he didn't shower very often, thinking that his own personal scent was so appealing to women, why wash it off?

The demon sprung from it's hiding place.

********

Buffy and Willow were patrolling the campus, keeping a sharp eye out for the two people they did not want to encounter: Riley and Tara. Suddenly, they heard a scream, and both started running.

They came into the clearing, Buffy first, and saw a demon, with Tara in its arms, swallowing her whole. Willow grabbed weapons from the bag as Buffy charged straight at the demon, and landed a flying kick straight on its chest, just as it finished swallowing Tara.

Buffy and the demon fought as Riley watched in amazement. His little Buffy, the future mother of his children, was attacking this, this creature, and didn't even seem afraid. In fact, she and Willow almost seemed to expect this thing.

Buffy and the demon traded blows, and the demon finally landed a particularly powerful blow, knocking Buffy backwards. Buffy landed hard on the ground, but hurried to get back up to her feet. When she caught sight of the demon again, she noticed that someone was fighting it, but it wasn't Willow or Riley. Before she had the chance to figure out who it was, the stranger was knocked into her and they both fell to the ground. Hard.

As they stood up, she realized who the stranger was. It was Angel. Ignoring the many questions she had, she turned back to the demon, only to see it finish swallowing Riley's head.

"Damn! I was supposed to protect them. Not that I mind either of them being gone, but I can't let evil demons like you roam the streets, eating innocent people," Buffy said, heading towards the demon. But as she headed for the demon, it morphed into a little fairy.

"Actually, I'm not an evil demon. I was cursed, long story, don't ask, but I had to eat this Riley fellow. The evil sorceror turned me into a Riley-eating monster, and now that I've eaten Riley, I can go on with my life. So long," the little fairy called out as she disappeared, off to save others who had been separated from their true loves.

"Well, that was weird. But at least I don't have to worry about that gross fish-boy following me around any more. Why are you here, Angel?" Buffy asked.

"I came here to tell you something. I'm human. The Powers That Be made me human."

"Really?"

"Really." Angel assured her, gathering her up into his arms and kissing her.

Willow watched, smiling happily for her friend. Riley was gone, and Buffy had Angel back. A human Angel. She was so happy for her friend. Suddenly, Willow felt a presence behind her.

"Hey," Oz greeted her.

"Hey," Willow replied.

"I'm sorry I left you," Oz said, looking deeply into Willow's eyes.

"Do you promise never to do it again?" she asked.

"I promise."

"Then I forgive you," she told him, and he crushed his lips to hers.

And they all lived happily ever after.

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