Disclaimer: They are not mine they never were, and if i was in charge Cordy and Spike would never even factor in my thoughts as love interests, ucckk ewwww. Anywho.
Authors Note: Ok this is my first story i have ever published and i am very nervous about this so please be gentle. Thankyou to Leni, you are the best. :) But i have an idea for a sequel so if anybody does like it please tell me. :)
Timeline:Okay this is the follow up from the episode 'the Body', this is my idea on how they would or should wrap it up. I haven't really seen any of the episodes leading up to it but I have read the script and have a pretty good idea of what's going on. I am not the greatest writer but I love Fan Fiction and basically couldn't help myself. I hope it's ok, my endings always suck. :)
Rating: 'G' it is a fluffy story, well at least I think it is. Although I do say 'sex' once but that's it.
Spoilers: Season Five up to 'the Body' in Buffy and the same place in Angel it's set before 'Forever' aired. So it's my version of what should have happened in 'Forever'. :)
Bear with me: I know the time is sort of shortened and the funeral wouldn't have happened as quickly but I'm the Author and can basically do whatever I want. So work with me here people.

"Is he coming?" Buffy asked hopefully

"I don't know, I'm not sure." Giles tried not to crush her hopes. "He hasn't said, really."

She nodded sadly.

"But Cordelia and Wesley are on their way and should be here soon." Giles tried to lift her spirits.

"Good." She said flatly.

Giles looked at her she didn't look well. She was refusing to grieve and he knew it.

Buffy stood up and walked out of the dining room. She felt numb and unreal. She hadn't stepped foot in the lounge room for three days. She didn't know why she had gotten up she just couldn't take anymore of the pitiful looks and 'sorries', she was quietly going nuts. Dawn just sat there crying non-stop, it broke Buffy to even look at her.

She couldn't cry, she just didn't have it in her anymore. She couldn't, she hadn't yet, she was going to be strong, she'd promised herself she wasn't going to. Dawn hadn't spoken since the hospital. Willow and Xander had slowly stopped crying and just sat there miserable. They tried to comfort Dawn. Anya and Tara had escaped to the kitchen to make some food for everyone.

"Buffy we'd best get going, Cordelia and Wesley will meet us all there." Giles called to her back.

She nodded and grabbed her coat and keys while exiting the house with everyone following behind her.

They all piled into the car, Giles drove and Buffy rode up front, with everyone else in the back.

She stared out of the window at nothing, she wasn't thinking anything either, just staring off away from everything. The car ride to the funeral was silent except for Dawn quietly crying.

Everyone cried at the funeral precession everyone except for Buffy. Even Giles and Wesley cried. Her dad had turned up though she couldn't even look at him.

It was dark when they got back home, Cordelia and Wesley came over as well.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." Buffy absently said as she stood and headed upstairs.

She walked into her bathroom and turned the shower on, she took off her clothes and stepped under the hot water.

______________________________________________________

"How's Buffy?" A concerned Cordelia asked Willow.

"I don't know, she's gone all 'not there', she didn't cry at the hospital or the funeral. I think that maybe she's still in shock."

"Who found her?" Cordelia asked motioning towards Dawn.

"Buffy did, when she got home from College, she was in the Lounge on the couch."

"Oh" Was all Cordelia could muster, she couldn't even imagine what she must be going through.

Everyone just sort of sat there quietly talking, avoiding everything they should be thinking about or discussing at that moment.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Dawn stood up and went to answer the door. When she opened it her face lit up at who was standing behind it.

"Angel!" she cried as she ran to him enveloping him in a big bear hug. He was a little taken aback for a moment, but returned it in full. "You came." She said disbelieving with her face buried in his chest clinging to him tightly.

"Of course I came Dawn." He reassured her. After a while she slowly released her grip on him, and they broke away.

"Come in." she said grabbing his hand a pulling him inside.

He walked slowly in behind her. She led him into the dining room where everyone else was gathered. Giles, Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Wesley.

______________________________________________________

Buffy sat in the corner of the shower crouched together with her knees pulled up against her chest. She sat there holding herself. Her breathing was becoming a struggle and she was getting less and less air with every breath. She had turned up the hot water, and with the steam there was less oxygen, hence making it very hard for her to breathe.

She just sat there under the beating of the hot water resting her head against the wall staring off into oblivion. Her breathing was slower now and she didn't care. She couldn't feel a thing, she was completely numb all over.

______________________________________________________

Willow looked up to see who had entered, she got up off her chair and walked straight up to Angel her face never flinching. He looked a little worried as to what she was going to do. She suddenly wrapped her arms around him pulling him to her for a big warm hug.

"Oh Angel. It's just so horrible." She cried into his shoulder while she held him tight.

"I know Will." He was still a little overwhelmed by the news and then all the affection he was receiving was also a little unusual for him. They broke away, Willow sniffled a little but managed to smile sadly up at him. They looked at each other, then she turned as Xander approached them.

"Hi Angel." Xander said as he shook his hand.

"Hi Xander." Xander was a man now not a teenager, he had really grown up, they all had, but Xander was the most noticeable. They smiled at each other, putting their past differences behind them finally.

Then Xander did something very unexpected, he grabbed Angel into a big hug. Angel was surely surprised at the sudden display of affection and desperation. He was so surprised he had to take a few steps back to gather his balance with Xander's weight against him.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Angel said flustered, not really sure of what to do. Xander broke away from him sheepishly nodding. He stepped back from Angel to stand beside Willow. Giles came up and shook Angel's hand. "Are you going to hug me?" Angel asked trying to lighten the mood.

"No, not unless you want me too?" Giles smiled knowing what he was trying to do to lighten the depressed mood in the room.

"I'm alright, I think I've just had my whole years worth." Angel looked towards Willow and Xander.

There was a strange silence in the room, until Angel broke it asking the big question. "So how is she?" He asked softly, like she could be listening in the other room.

"She's acting quite strangely, she doesn't say much and doesn't really like to stay in one place for along period of time. She won't go into the Lounge either. That's. where she found her." Giles explained to him.

"She probably just needs some time." Angel suggested. "Dawn's taking it hard." Angel said as he looked toward her sitting at the table blowing her nose.

"Well before you arrived she hadn't spoken a word. We're all really glad you came." Willow said smiling, Xander nodded too.

"Where is she?" Angel asked curious as to why he hadn't seen her.

"In the shower." Dawn said as she joined their small group.

"The shower, how long has she been in there?" Angel asked, confused.

Willow looked to the clock on the glass cabinet in the corner. "45 minutes." Willow said, only now realizing how long it had been.

"45 minutes!!" Angel said in shock "She only takes about twenty." He said as he ran up the stairs.

"How does he know?" Xander asked to himself as he followed behind everyone else.

Angel ran to the bathroom door. He knocked, there was no answer.

"Buffy are you alright? Buffy open the door." He said trying to keep the situation calm and avoiding jumping conclusions.

There was still no answer and the door was locked. He wriggled the handle, it wasn't going to budge.

"Angel what's wrong?" Dawn was really worried now.

"Dawn, come with me." Giles said ushering her away from the bathroom and what was behind the locked door, Xander went with them.

Angel didn't hesitate and slammed his shoulder against the door it didn't budge. So he stood back and gave it a good solid kick, it flung open slamming against the wall.

The entire bathroom was soaking wet with steam you couldn't see anything. Angel ran to the shower and pulled back the door.

And there she was barely conscious huddled in the corner with the water beating down upon her body, barely breathing.

"Jesus Buffy!" Angel turned off the water and stepped in the shower, he bent down and picked her up wrapping a towel around her naked body. She looked up at him, as he held her close. She didn't stare blankly, she recognized something in his eyes as he brushed the matted hair away from her face. She was still breathing heavy and was weak from the heat.

He picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom straight into her bedroom. Willow followed and closed the door behind them, she walked over and closed her blinds. Angel gently put her down on the bed so she was sitting up.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked concerned as he knelt down in front of her to look her in the eyes. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms to dry her off. He pushed her hair behind her ear out of her face. "You need to get dressed." He said as he stood up motioning to Willow, she nodded and they swapped places. Willow helped Buffy get dressed while Angel stared at the wall.

"Oh Buffy, you scared me." Willow said as she hugged her tight, Angel turned thinking something was wrong, to see Buffy not returning Willow's affections, she didn't hug her back at all, her arms stayed limp down by her side. She was dressed though and her hair now towel dried.

Her breathing was back to normal now and she was looking less hot and weak. He walked over to the two of them.

"Willow I'm okay." Buffy tried to stop it becoming a big issue.

Willow nodded wiping the tears from her face. She looked up to Angel as he joined them looking worried. Buffy could see the concern in his eyes and knew what he was thinking, she stopped him from saying anything.

"I'm fine, really. Thank you." Buffy said reassuring the both of them. She looked sheepishly toward Angel she was embarrassed. He smiled back down, though he was still worried.

"Look Buffy, Angel's here." Willow said trying to lighten the mood. They both smiled, that was Willow for you.

"Hi." Buffy said, relaxing.

"Hi." Angel greeted back. They hadn't had a chance to say hello yet. They both stood there staring at each other.

"I'm just gonna make a discreet exit." Willow said quietly as she left them in the room together. She closed the door and smiled to herself, she knew that they would work this out. Angel was Buffy's pillar of strength and she needed him now more than ever.

She trudged down the stairs to tell everyone Buffy was okay.

______________________________________________________

Angel followed Buffy out her bedroom window and they walked silently toward the cemetery where Joyce had been buried.

They stood there looking down at it not speaking, not moving, and not touching. Buffy read the engraving over and over, unbelieving that it was her mothers. They stood side by side. Angel didn't say anything, he couldn't really believe it himself.

He didn't know quite how to approach Buffy, she had built up her defenses and trying to comfort her, may cause her to lash out. And an upset Slayer was a deadly Slayer, but she was also human and couldn't keep it up forever, she would eventually break down. But she had been through a lot so it may take a long time, she was emotionally the strongest person he had ever met.

Buffy's hand gently slid into his and she squeezed it so tight, never wanting to let go, using him as her anchor. A long time passed between them and not a word was spoken.

"If only I had been there with her and not at stupid College. I could've- I, I could have helped her, she would've been all right. If only I had been there." Buffy said hopelessly. Finally admitting her guilt on what had happened.

"Don't think that Buffy, it's not your fault. There was nothing you could've done, even if you were there." Angel said trying to make her see the hopelessness of 'if onlys'. "At least she died peacefully." Trying to show her the non-existent good side to the situation.

"She was so cold when I touched her.. And when I put my lips on hers..th-they didn't move, they were so cold." She wasn't crying she was just miserable.

"I knew she was dead the minute I walked in the house. Somehow, in the back of my mind I just knew." She said with bitter laughter. "Of all the people I've saved." Finally her eyes welled up with unshed tears. "I couldn't save her." They spilled over and her shoulders shook.

Angel moved to her, she turned to look up at him crying. "She was my mother, my mom." She said trying to understand.

She burst out crying and Angel took her in his arms, she clung to him tightly as she bawled her eyes out. Her entire body shook against him, she buried her head in his chest. She had had that bottled up for a good long while. They stayed locked together for a long time, Buffy clung desperately to him, as though he might disappear and her whole world would melt away.

"Shhh, It's going to be alright." Angel whispered comforting words into her ears. Trying to soothe her pain away.

After a long time she slowly stopped crying, she sniffled as she pulled away from him, they still stood close. She stayed in his embrace. He looked down at her.

"I still love you, so much." She admitted breaking the silence. She looked up searching his eyes for the response she ached to hear.

Angel was surprised to hear that, of all the things he imagined she would say that was not one of them. He hadn't ever dreamed that she would still love him. He was speechless as she looked deeply into his eyes.

He was unsure as to what he should say, yes he loved her, he loved her more than anything, but if he told her how he felt, was it just going to destroy everything they had both spent the last two years building. It was almost like building a beautiful sandcastle and then sticking your foot in it.

Her body tensed as dread swept through like a cold wind, he was taking too long to answer, that non-hesitant reply of "I love you" that she could always count on wasn't going to come. She could see it in his eyes, felt in his body as the words had escaped her own lips.

She felt like dying right there.

"Buffy I-" He was cut off by a finger to his lips.

"Just pretend, please, just pretend that you love me still, the way you used to. Like you'd do anything for me, I just want a kiss. The way that you used to kiss me before all of this, the kisses that used to make my whole body tingle, when they used to be filled with passion, love and sex, before they became, 'If I don't see you again' kisses. And then you can go, you don't even have to look back. " Her lip trembled and tears ran down her cheeks, cause she knew he would give her the kiss, and by the time she would open her eyes he would be gone and whether or not he looked back she would never know.

He looked down at her with his intense eyes, keeping everything he felt hidden behind them, he wanted to wipe her tears away but he feared that when he felt their warm wetness he would cry too.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to meet his lips, they touched ever so gently, sending a shiver through her whole body. The kiss slowly intensified, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood up on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss, he tightened his hold on her body pulling her flush up against him. He gently slipped his tongue into her mouth, dueling with hers. She moaned into his mouth and clung tighter to his body, one of his hands snaked up into her hair.

They broke away suddenly breathless, she searched his eyes to see if he felt what she had in that single kiss.

"I'll never pretend Buffy." Angel said smiling down at her.

She let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding, and jumped at him hugging him so tight, nuzzling his neck. "Oh god Angel, please don't leave me. I need you so much." She whispered desperately into his ear, unable to stop the tears that just kept falling.

"I'll stay as long as you need me Buffy. I love you." He promised her while he nuzzled her hair.

"Forever!" She smiled into his ear.

"Forever." He agreed.

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