Disclaimer: I don't own them, Joss et al do, no infringement intended.
Author's Note: Set 2 months after Girls Night Out, probably should read that first
Rating: M I guess, some swearing, drug references.

Buffy swung at the approaching vampire. Her aim was more than off and she giggled as she stumbled into a head stone. She stood up painfully and faced the vampire.

"Look what we have here, a stoned Slayer. I'm gonna enjoy killing you," he taunted, moving in closer.

Buffy rolled her eyes, like she'd never heard that before. He went to punch her, she blocked and kneed him in the ribs. He quickly retaliated with a backhand which sent her reeling into a tree. "A bit off your game Slayer?" he asked cruelly.

She shook the dizziness off and took up her fighting stance again. Man it was taking longer to slay vamps these days. She knew it was due to the pills she and Willow had been popping like aspirins but quite frankly she didn't care anymore. One day a vampire would catch her at her worst, she'd die, another would be called and it would all be over.

Xander had asked her if she had a death wish. She remembered the look of horror on his face when she told him that she wasn't trying to get herself killed but she couldn't honestly care if she did die. Willow was different though. Willow was still just looking for an escape from the pain. Already she was beginning to reassert her life. With Xander's help she began going to classes again and taking an interest in what was going on around her. Still the two girls went out partying, taking their drugs and generally forgetting but Willow was a lot more in control.

She had forgotten that the vampire was still there and was forcibly reminded when an arm encircled her throat and she was pulled back against him. He bared his fangs and bit down on her neck, exactly where Angel had drunk from her. The realisation made her start. Her blood was Angel's, that was his mark on her. * How dare this wanker bite me? Doesn't he know I belong to Angel? * she thought furiously. She grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder. She then began a savage assault on the stunned vampire.

"That's is Angel's neck to bite, Angel's blood to drink! How fucking dare you?" She kept swearing at the vampire, emphasising her curses with kicks and punches. Suddenly the vampire disappeared into a cloud of dust. Buffy looked around for him, her drugged out mind betraying her. She looked back to where the vamp should've been and saw Angel standing there holding a stake.

"Excuse me, but I believe I was pummeling here!"

Angel's eyes scanned over her noting her messy hair, crumpled clothes and pale face. * What have I done to her? * he asked himself. Quietly he said, "It was over Buffy, he was ready to be staked."

"Sanctimonious as always huh Angel? Stake the vamp now cause I know what's best for you. I'm leaving town because I know what's best for you. Wow, look at the consequences of those choices you made for me. I found I couldn't live without you so I turned to something else. A stoned Slayer, what a novelty!" she said sarcastically. "And seeing as you staked the vamp and I still feel like fighting…" she trailed off looking at him meaningfully. "Let's dance," she said before punching him.

He reeled backwards and then looked at her steadily. "I'm not going to fight you."

"You have no choice in the matter Angel," she stated as she kicked him in ribs. She kept hitting him and it was all he could do to protect himself. "How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" he croaked.

"Being helpless, having no choice in the matter, having to deal with consequences that you didn't choose!"

He looked up at her. She was lost, he realised. And he had done it to her. She looked dejected with her shoulders slumped and her eyes dead and unmoving. He stood up slowly, not wanting to startle her. God her had missed her. He missed her warmth and life and passion. He had missed the way she made him feel. Looking at her now he realised something was happening between them, he just didn't know what.

* God he is beautiful * Buffy thought as she watched him rise. She knew she couldn't keep going on the way she had been and that it was time for a choice. And she knew what she was going to offer him. Slowly she spread her arms out wide, inviting him in. "You only get two options Angel," she said softly. "Either you come back to me, and be with me like it was before, or you can kill me."

His jaw dropped in shock. "Buffy I can't…" he trailed off once his brain had finally made sense of what she had said.

She stared at him with cold eyes, "You have to. You owe me that much. Either take my life or give me my life, but either way you have to decide." She paused and looked down at the ground. "Seeing as you know what's best for me," she added softly.

Angel shook his head. He pinched his arm, hoping he would wake up from this nightmare. Buffy seriously couldn't be asking him to kill her could she? It was ludicrous to think. Yet looking at her, really seeing her, he realised that there were no other option. He could stay and she could live, or he could leave and she would die. The fact that she wanted to die by his hands filled him with a depraved sort of elation. She still felt something for him!

She was watching him closely and saw him sigh bitterly. She dropped her outspread arms and sat down on the ground carefully, watching him with patient eyes.

"Buffy…" Angel began but she cut him off.

"No! Decide. That's all I want to hear from you." She lay down and closed her eyes. "Wake me when you have."

Angel looked around. It was not safe for her to sleep here. When she had passed out, the drugs and emotional rigors of the night taking their toll on her body, Angel picked her up and carried to the only place he could think of, the mansion.

After placing Buffy on the couch and lighting a fire Angel began to pace. He watched her sleep, peacefully, like she had in the old days. * Doesn't she know I could never kill her? * Angel asked himself desperately. * How could I kill the one thing that I live for? I have to stay. * He looked over at his sleeping love and corrected himself mentally. * No, I want to stay. *

He crossed over the couch and sat down, pulling Buffy up to snuggle with him as he did so. Sighing softly, he closed his eyes. He tightened his arms around her, determined not to let her go even in sleep. He felt Buffy snuggle closer to him and he moved to accommodate her. She woke, and looked up at him sleepily.

"Angel?"

"Yes my love?"

She looked uncertain for a moment. Angel put his finger to her lips and said, "I am not going anywhere beloved. I'm staying with you." He replaced his finger with his lips, kissing her softly. She was hesitant, still believing it was dream. As the reality sunk in she kissed him more forcefully, determined to forget the last few months.

They pulled back and stared into each other's eyes. There was so much to be said, and they both knew that but for the moment they contented themselves by just being with each other.

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