disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard
distribution: my site anybody else want, take, let me know you have
pairing: b/a
rating: strong r
summary: She died with an Unbroken heart
an: this just hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to get it out. kinda short
feedback: This is NOT the zoo people, PLEASE FEED the AUTHOR

I told Dawn everything I needed to tell her. I said what needed to be said. Then I turned and ran. I ran until there was no more tower to run on and then I jumped.

I jumped, dived, swam into the open force field. I wanted it to take my last breath. But as soon as my body hit the light I was flooded with memories of a day I couldn't remember.

The smell of Angel filled my nose, and his heartbeat rang clear in my ears. I felt the force field pull me apart, and at the same time I felt Angel push himself fully inside me with no guilt in his eyes.

There was no worry marring his features, no tension in his muscles. There was....peace. Happiness, bliss. And I discovered that in that moment he and I both had achieved perfect happiness.

For a second time.

And yet, I was unafraid of what the consequences would be. There weren't any, we where free. The life was draining out of me, flowing into the force field and crushing it's power.

It was dying, but so was I. I remember cookie-dough fudge-mint chip ice cream mixed with the taste of sweat on Angel's chest. I felt him pulling me into him, trying to get as close as we possibly could.

Like he knew we didn't have much time left. He knew. But I didn't. To me it was just one of thousands more to come. Tears marred his face, he knew but I didn't.

He knew it was going to end.

I remembered it all as the force field closed, and my body descended toward the ground. I felt him inside me, in my soul, and in my mind. He was a part of me, had touched places I never knew existed.

I felt the warm embrace of his arms around mine. The comfort he provided in a single kiss to my temple. The love he showed me while we made love. It was never-ending.

Just like Spike said, we'll be in love til it kills us both. So here I am dying, remembering the happiest day of my life that I didn't remember in the first place, and this time I was the one who knew the end was coming.

He didn't.

Right before I hit the ground I knew one thing was true. I died with an unbroken heart. It had been broken, and I had tried for years to fix it. When he kisses me I still want to die.

And I do.

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