Disclaimer- I own nobody except Jordan. Everything else belongs to Joss Wheadon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Enterprize, Fox, and probably more people.
Spoilers- I Will Remember You and slight Hero. If you haven't seen them, then *major* spoilers in part three or four for IWRY, minor H. Other than that, none? Maybe a little, A:tS season 1 and 2, some of BtVS s3-4 (5?)I don't know.
Author's Notes- I wrote this on a Saturday afternoon when I was absoloutely, totally, compleately, utterly bored. OK? Also, please give me feedback! I'm on my knees pleading! And it takes place in the future....you do the math; Jordan's 17, Buffy was 18 (about) when she had Jordan.....so it's somewhere around 2017 or something. Also, minor/major (depends on who you are) swearing in some parts, particuarily part 6, whenever Riley comes. Poetry in the last part by me.

Jordan Summers strolled along the sidewalk outside rows of old hotels. "You know, these aren't half bad looking. Maybe if they fixed them up..." she said to herself. It was near dark and she was getting anxious. She hated being alone at dark....that was when her mother had left her. Suddenly, when she was caught off guard, a hidious glaring red eyeball focused on her. They eye was attached to a grotesque body, brown and slimy, and it raised a gigantic sword, prepared to swing. Jordan screamed in terror, then viciously kicked it. A handsome man, 24 or so, lunged at it, grabbed it by the neck, and snapped it. She fell back hard on her hands, snapping her wrist and also hitting her head. The man turned around, saying," Are y-," but stopped short.

"Buffy?"

~*~*~*~*~

She looked stunned. He glared at her, mesmerized. It couldn't be....could it? he thought.

"Who are you?" Jordan asked, scared.

"I'm....it doesn't matter who I am. Never mind. You're not....I thought you were somebody else. Someone I knew a long time ago. I'm sorry. Bye," he said, defeated.

Someone he knew a long time ago....it couldn't be Mom, could it? she thought. No, he's too young....he fought very well though....maybe he's a vampire, but if so, why didn't he kill *me*?

"Quelqu'un il su une longtemps ago....le pouvions ont été Mom....pas de, elle c'est va," she said in French.

"Someone he knew a long time ago....it couldn't have been Mom....no, she's gone...," he translated.

"How did you know...why?" she asked.

"I've been around. What's you're mother's name?"

"Buffy...Buffy Summers," she said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"B-Buffy is your mom?"

"Yes...or she was...What's your name? How do you know her?"

"Let's go inside and talk," Angel said.

"First tell me your name."

"Angel."

Jordan winced. Not at the sound of his name, but at the searing pain she felt as she tried to move her wrist.

"What? Are you OK?" Angel asked as they walked inside.

"Yeah, I just hit my wrist...I'm fine. So, how long have you been here? It's nice," Jordan said as they entered the lobby.

"About eighteen years, give or take," he replied," I bought it."

"How old are you?" she asked, surprised. He didn't look that old and he, if he was 22, bought it when he was...4? Her Slayer sense began tingling.....

Angel must've noticed it too, for he immediately corrected himself. "I mean my father bought it, and, um, it was given to me in his will."

Jordan wasn't sure about that, so she changed the subject. "Why did you think I was my mother?" She sat down and Angel got her a glass of seltzer.

"I..." he began.

"Don't lie to me," she said. Angel fixed his eyes intently on the petite blond before him. She was identical to Buffy, almost, only younger than he would've pictured her now. She was Buffy's height, and had the same full lips, coated over in a tinted gloss. Her hair was longer, waist length, flaxen gold, and curled in loose waves. She had the same eyes, blue-green, large, innocent....only there was something missing. They didn't have the same sparkle in them, the youthful, impish glint. They were dark and hollow, as if she were missing something inside...could it be the love of a father?

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I was your mother's boyfriend....lover," he said, blushing, " when she was 17. I met her when she was a sophomore in Sunnydale, then we began dating in her junior year. We...broke up....near the end of her junior year, and she ran away. Then we got back together in her senior year and dated all that time. Right before the Prom I broke up with her, and I haven't seen her since Graduation...wait, yes I have....twice, when she came to LA and I met her while she was shopping, and we had lunch....then again after I found her cousin, Faith, and she was put in jail. Buffy came out with....bail. I haven't seen or heard from her since," Angel half-lied. He couldn't very well tell her that he was a 294 year-old vampire , her mother had sent him to Hell, he had been resurrected, and he had broken up with her because Buffy was a Slayer!

Jordan looked surprised, then amused. "Look, I know who you are. You're Angel, Angelus, Scourage of Europe, a now 294 year old vampire. You and my mother had 'the love that could never be' and you broke her heart and left to go here," she said.

Angel was shocked....she knew? "Are you a Slayer?"

"Yes. And before you ask, my mother ran away when I was four and I don't know who my father is...I know it's not Riley or anybody....and I live with Xander and Anya," she said. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh," he replied softly.

She looked up at him fiercely. The kindness that he'd seen before vanished, flames replaced it. "Oh," she said mockingly, "oh! OH! That's all you can say, OH!? I lost my MOTHER, my best friend, when I was FOUR! I HAVE *no* father! Yo-you think it was coincidence that I was here when I was?! You think I didn't plan it, all except for the demon attack? Angel, CARE!! GOD, I come here, wanting you to accept me, mourn with me, and all you can say is OH!" Jordan ranted and raved for a while. Then, under her breath, she muttered," You probably don't care that you have a daughter...."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Angel wouldn't have heard the last comment if he wasn't a vampire. "What?" he asked.

She jerked her head up. "Y-you heard that?"

"I'm a vampire. Extra bonus," he said dryly.

"You have a daughter....and it's me." Jordan said," Look, before you, like, spaz or whatever, let me explain. You and my mother had 'the forbidden day' that the Oracles were SUPPOSED to erase. Only they didn't erase it all, as you can plainly see. They screwed up again and here I am. When I was four, some demon came and talked about the End of Days...whatever that is....and Mom went to fight him. Only she never came back. I found a note, and some of her clothes were missing. Fishboy tried to take me in but I hated him. I always have. And so did Mom, but only because you left! Why the hell did you leave! Why didn't you tell her!" she paused.

"Don't you love her anymore?"

Angel was stung by her memories, the vague description of her life with her mother, and yet that last question came totally out of the blue. He sat down, burying his head in his hands, and wept. He wept for what he could never have. He wept for the love they had. But most of all, he wept for Jordan. She had no father. She had no mother. She was a Slayer. And yet she had the courage to come here and find him, and she wanted to accept him regardless of what he had done to her mother.

"Yes," he said quietly," yes, I do love her still. I always have. But she couldn't think clearly....she didn't know what was right for her. Buffy....she always thought she knew what was right for her. But she didn't....and neither did I. I wanted her to have everything that we could never have together. And she had that with Riley. But....but I still wanted to love her like I did when she was mine. When I broke up with her, that was the worst mistake of my life."

"Then why didn't you come back?" a voice rang from the back of the lobby. A voice so familiar....a voice he knew from seventeen years ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Part Three

There she was, just standing there. She didn't look any different, except her hair was the length of Jordan's and curled becomingly. She was fashionable as ever, decked in skintight blue jeans with small diamonds running down the seam. She had a red halter top on with a dark blue jean jacket over it. Angel looked to her hands...bare on every finger except for her Cladduah ring....

"Mom?" Jordan said," is it really you?"

"Jordan," she whispered.

Jordan ran up and threw her arms fiercely around her mother. "Mom.....why did you leave?"

"I couldn't stay...I wanted to take you with me, baby. I did. I didn't know where I was going....'"

"Why didn't you call?"

"I didn't think that you would want to hear from me and I didn't want to risk Riley trying to find me......" she said, trailing off.

"Why did you leave...the real reason?" Jordan asked, seeming like a lost young girl.

Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes. "Riley......."

Jordan's anger flared. "What did Fishboy do?" she asked fiercely.

The older woman glanced at Angel. "I can't tell you right now."

"Let's go somewhere where you can."

Angel ceased Buffy from leaving. "Please," he said," I need to hear this. I've been looking for you for thirteen years, Buffy. I need to know your story like you know mine."

The threesome walked into a more private room with lavish paintings and leather couches. "Sit," he said, extending his arm," would you like something to drink?"

"Lemonade," the blondes said in unision. Then they laughed.

After Angel returned with their drinks, he sat. Buffy inhaled sharply. Then she started.

"Jordan, when you were four....and before that, for about two years, Riley had wanted to be serious. He proposed to me. I declined, and he got mad. Then he started....." Buffy started, but she couldn't continue.

"Go on," Jordan coaxed.

"Then he started beating me. I wasn't strong enough to fight back....he was on drugs. Steroids. Something like that, but he was really strong. If you remember....I don't know if you were old enough....but the night I came home bloody and bruised and you asked me what it was from and I told you I had been slaying, I was lying. It was him. I swore that he was going crazy. So I ran away. I looked in on you all the time, I wanted to make sure that he didn't get to you. And that's why you lived with Xander and Anya. Willow was busy with her....personal life....Giles was too old as was my mother and my father's dead and didn't know that I had a child....besides, Xander knew what Riley was doing....towards the end, before I left. But if Riley found me, I didn't want him to find you too."

The younger Slayer was shocked. She crawled into her mother's embrace and cried. "I thought you didn't want me......"she wept. They stayed like that before Buffy realized that Angel was sitting there.

"Angel....I need to talk to you too. I'll come back later if that's alright? I've got to take Jordan to the hotel where I'm staying, OK?"

"Please, stay here. I've got plenty of rooms. Besides, it's free," he said, trying to tempt her into staying.

She thought for a moment. "Ok," she said softly. Jordan kissed her mom, then her dad, and walked out of the room.

"Angel, where did Jordan come from? I know she's your daughter, and I've had dreams of what happened. I need you to fill in the pieces."

'Oh boy,' Angel thought,'I never thought I'd have to do this.' "You came to LA after I was in Sunnydale for a few days....skulking. My friend Doyle...he's dead now....had a vision. He was my connection to the Powers That Be. So you came here, and we agreed to stay away from each other....forget about the past. Then a Mohra demon attacked us, we tracked it, and I killed it, or so we thought. Some of it's blood mixed with mine, and it made me human. We....well, we broke my table, and we made love. Then Doyle came down after you fell asleep and I found out that the Mohra demon's blood has regenerative properties. When it made me human it not only regenerated me, it regenerated itself. I tracked it again but it was too strong. You came and killed it. Later I went to see the Powers That Be again and they said that if I remained human it would kill one of us or both of us. I asked them to turn me back, but nobody would remember the day but me. I guess the Powers didn't erase all of the effects of the Day...obviously."

Buffy looked at Angel, horrified. She wept. Angel walked over there, not sure what to do. But she spoke first.

"You had everything you had ever wanted and you gave it up for me?"

"Buffy, I couldn't let you fight...maybe die...alone. I was no good...I had no place. I love you more than ever and I wouldn't give you up like that unless I could come with you." He pleaded.

"Angel," she said," I waited for seventeen years to find out what happened and now I wish I didn't know."

"Buffy-" he started.

She cut him off. "No. No. I don't want to know. Angel, you had SEVENTEEN YEARS to come and tell me what happened. Seventeen years. And you DIDN'T! You had everything I ever wanted for you and you gave it back. I wish I didn't know. I wish I wished myself dead because I don't think I've ever felt this kind of hurt. And you know what? You MEANT to keep me from the hurt.....but you just made it hurt more. This kind of pain is like an abyss. You want to know what I'm doing?"

"I'm falling into it......again."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Part Four*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy didn't say another word to Angel. She went and woke Jordan up, telling her that they were leaving. "We'll go back to Sunnydale the day after tomorrow..." she had said. She looked scared. Jordan looked leery as they left the hotel, like she should've stayed.

"Bye...Dad," she said on her way out.

"Goodbye, Jordan. Buffy, can I speak to you for a moment?" he asked.

"Angel, we really should be going...I'll keep in touch," she said, more for Jordan's benefit than for her own.

"Please?" he said.

She broke down. "Alright. Jordan, can you go start the car?"

"Sure, Mom...bye."

After she left, Angel began speaking. "Buffy, about last night....I'm sorry. I know it came as a shock. But I need to tell you this-"

"Then hurry up."

"Fine. I love you. And if I can't have you, I will die."

"You're already dead," she spat vehementally, then turned on her heel and left.

She walked out of the hotel lobby doors and sat on one of the benches where neither Angel or Jordan could see her. And she broke down and cried. After she composed herself, Buffy walked to the car and opened the door. She was going back to Sunnydale...her own private Hell...for the first time in thirteen years.

***************

Back in LA

"No," Angel said,"No, I"m not dead."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Part Five*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She walked with trepidation up to Xander's door. She knew that before she left, Xander had married Anya. Besides, she didn't know Willow's new address and she found Xander's new apartment by way of Jordan, who had lived with him. Dawn was off in college, back for a weekend.

Jordan rang the doorbell. Xander answered. "Hey, runt!" he said, "Who's your frien-"

"Hi Xander," Buffy said meekly.

"Buffster! Where were you?" he asked.

"Alot of places...I went to Europe for three years...and San Francisco...and Los Angeles...and Philadelphia...and Richmond...and DC...."

"Come on in and tell me." He extended his arm and bowed like a waiter. "Madmosille," he said with a fake French accent.

***********

Two Weeks Later

"Bye, Mom. You sure you don't wanna come?" Jordan asked. She, Xander, and Anya were going out.

"No thanks. I've gotta patrol. Make sure no vamps think they're getting an edge. Have a good time," she replied.

Not really, she thought. More moping time. I can't believe I said that to Angel....to him. To my one love. The one person that really did love me....

Buffy hadn't realized that the television was on. She picked up a kleenex, wiped her eyes, and turned to watch it. Maybe this will take my mind off of...him.

"Everything I love is killing me," the girl said," and I can't stop it."

She didn't realize how true that statement was.......

"But maybe what you despise will kill you first." a voice from behind said," Hello, Buffy."

She turned around so fast, she was surprised that she didn't get whiplash. The one name she uttered was the one she dreaded. The thing that made darkness hide.

"Riley."

*****************

"Wha-what are you doing here?"

"Gee, I just came back for the FUCKING VIEW!! What do you think, you bitch? How DARE you leave me! And then, your fucking daughter goes to LA and finds your ex-vampire boyfriend! She should've been HERE, with ME! And YOU LEFT AND WENT WHORING AROUND!! You went back to LA to talk to some bastard who actually did one fucking smart thing- he LEFT you, bitch! He left you because he DIDN'T LOVE YOU!!"

Her chin quivered, and her strong resolve broke. "Don't bring Jordan into this. This is about YOU and ME. YOU'RE NOT HER FATHER, RILEY!! ANGEL IS HER FATHER!"

He struck her savagely. "WHORE! BITCH! Well, I guess now I have to keep you. Lock you up forever. Make you mine...mine....mine..." he said, his voice trailing off. Riley turned around, then whipped around and struck her again in the face, causing blood to pour from her temple. She saw darkness.

~*~*~*~*~

Buffy woke to be chained to a wall in a dank cave. She was beaten, and a knife glinted in Riley's hand.

"Have to...make...her...mine....all mine....no badboy wannabe...just.....mine....mine......mine." he whispered psycotically. Buffy felt her heart thump in her chest.

I felt your heart beat.//

She felt the de ja vu. **My day with Angel...human Angel. Ice cream. Peanut butter.**

Preferably crunchy.//

I'll never forget...I'll never forget...I'll never forget.//

Riley stuck the glinting knife in her side, causing her to cry out in pain. **I'm holding on for you, Angel......I'm holding on for you...**

~*~

Jordan had a weird feeling....like she should be somewhere that she wasn't. She, Anya, and Xander had just come from seeing a movie, where she began to have this pecuilar feeling in the pit of her stomach. She excused herself, and threw up in the bathroom. She met Anya in the hallway, and borrowed her car keys.

Then she drove to Los Angeles, where the answers were.

~*~

After she arrived in LA, she went straight to Angel's hotel. She burst through the doors, crying. "Mom's in trouble, Dad. Of the worst kind...Riley....he's back," she gasped, "I need your help...."

Angel looked at his daughter. All sorts of thoughts, emotions ran through his mind. Emotions he hadn't felt in years. Pain, anger, hate, love....the swam through his mind and in a moment of blind panic he saw the lost day.

"Let's go."

The day he wouldn't get to have again with her....if she was dead. Then he heard Buffy's voice fill his mind...

I'm holding on for you, Angel...I'm holding on for you...//

~*~

They arrived in Sunnydale and drove to a cave on the beach. He didn't know why, he just felt like his Beloved was there.

And he was right.

She was there, alright. Chained to a wall with a knife sticking out of her side, whip marks all over her body, burns, bruises....

"Mom!" Jordan cried.

Fear lit up the older Slayer's eyes. "Jordan! Go! Get out of here!"

"NO! I'm not leaving!" She cried, running and attacking Riley. He savagely struck her across the face, and she went flying into a nearby wall. Angel ran to Bufffy, and unchained her. She went limp and fell into his arms.

"Angel.......I'm so sorry......I.....I felt your heart beat....like it is now......" she said quietly, tiredly.

"Ssh! Ssh, it's going to be okay...it's gonna be OK....." he said.

Riley lifted Jordan up by the throat. "Buffy....if you're not mine...then Jordan can't be yours....."

Jordan's eyes went wide as he picked up another knife. He pinned her to a wall, and only too late did she realize what he was going to do.

"NO!!" He pulled the knife across her throat in a quick motion, and she died.

"Jordan," Buffy crooned to her dead child, "I'm so sorry....." She walked over there and cradled Jordan in her arms.

She looked Riley in the eye. "YOU. WILL. PAY."

"Jordan's gone, Baby. Soon you will be too." Riley picked up the knife, still with Jordan's fresh blood on it, and threw it into a corner. Then he picked up a gun. He aimed it at her head, then slowly down to her chest. Then, in an instant before Angel could stop him, he shot her.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. Buffy looked in horror at Angel, and fell to the ground. Angel picked up the knife that he threw into the corner, and aimed it at Riley, where it hit him in the head and he died instantaneously. He cradled Buffy's still form in his arms.

"Please....Buffy, we can start over! Beloved, don't die...don't die....." he wept, rocking her back and forth in his arms. He pressed his hands to the wound in her chest, trying to stop the rivers of blood flowing from it. She coughed, and more blood came from her mouth. She opened her bloodshot eyes, and looked into his face.

"......tears......." she said suddenly, "You're crying real tears....."

He looked ashamed. "That's what I was trying to tell you....I'm human."

She began crying. "Angel... I don't....wanna die......"

He kissed her face. "I love you....don't leave me, Buffy. Don't leave me again."

Buffy opened her eyes, and breathed deeply without coughing. Her eyes were no longer bloodshot, they were clear. Her voice was strong and melodious. "I'm not going to die," she said, "I've survived you lying to me...twice..., an Ascencion, a Master, millions of vampires and demons, and graduated high school in the same lifetime. I'm not going to die."

Buffy Anne Summers closed her eyes, fell into Angel's arms, and died.

Angel held her body for a long while. He heard a voice whisper into his mind....

.....When the last sun rises
When the last moon calls
When the last person dies
When you cry your final cry
Until then
Find me in your dreams
Find me in your eyes
My smile in the sunrise
My eyes in the ocean
Forever and a day
Even the lost one
That's when I'll love you
When I'm not in your heart
When the last tear drop falls......

Feedback? Spork? Sequal ;-)? Send it, PLEASE!!! There will be a sequal, I just have two different ideas for it right now....

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