Disclaimer: None of the charachter in this story belong to me. They belong to Joss, who in turn puts them through all the hell and miserary that one can endure. We should all point at Joss and yell at him, "YOUR A BAD EVIL MAN!" ALSO: None of the songs that are mentioned in here belong to me. If they did I would be rich and... would buy Buffy.. and.... Have Xander marry me.... and.... Kill riley!
Timeline: After graduaction... that means NO RILEY! ( ::chears errupts from the world::) And before "pangs". Also... he never smashed the ring ok? that was sad.
Synopsis: Buffy has been recieving mysterious letters from some unknown residence....
Author's notes: I made this at Ten at night.. so deal with it being spacey...
Feedback: ANY!
Rating- PG-13 (come on.... it's fun)

Buffy ran past the little mailboxes that the students staying in dorm get to keep. She never really ran by it all that much since mail wasn't really her thing. She decided to humor herself and she opened the box with the plastic little nametag that said "Buffy Summers". Needless to say she was suprised to find a lone white envelope sitting in the chrome box. She pulled it out and ran her fingers over the back. She flipped it over and looked for a return address. There was none.

***********************

Buffy flopped on her bed and sat indian style staring at the little white envelope. She was afraid to open. She had no idea who it was from, or what it contained. She looked up as the door opened and her red haired friend flounced into the room.

"Hey Will." Buffy said, a little to happy to see her.

"Hey Buff. HEY! You got mail... Lucky." Willow said as she dropped her books on her bed and sat looking at Buffy.

"Wouldn't exactly call it luck. See? Look." She handed the letter to Willow.

" You haven't even opened it yet! It could say... that you won the lottery... or... that you've won some land somewhere..."

Buffy smiled at her friend. "I highly doubt that.

" Well, you won't know until you open it." Willow threw ther letter back to Buffy. " Open it already"

" Jeez Willow. Your even more excited to open it then me."

"Well I'm excited by little things."

Buffy looked to Willow for support. "Open it for me..."

"NO! It's your letter, plus it's illegal"

Buffy stared down at the little white envelope that she was afraid of. She thought to herself "Why am I afraid of this little letter? How bad can the little paper inside be? usually notification of a death or things have a return address. I should just open it. Buffy stop being such a wimp." With that Buffy decided that she was going to open the letter. She looked around for a letter opener.

"Here." Willow handed her a ruby handeled dagger.

Buffy didn't want to ask where Willow got it or what she had done with it. Her mind was on other things. She ripped off the top of the letter with the dagger and set the dagger on her bed. She pulled out a sheet of paper. It was folded into three pieces. She unfolded it slowly and read what was on it.

\\ Looking back
on the memory of
the dance we shared
beneath the stars above
for a moment
all the world was right
how could I have known
that you'd ever say goodbye

And I
I'm glad I didn't know
the way it all would end
the way it would go
Our lives
Are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'dve had to miss
the dance

holding you
I held everything
for a moment
wasn't I the king
but if I'd only known
how the king would fall
I used to say
you know I might have changed it all

And I
I'm glad I didn't
the way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives
Are better left to chance
I could've missed the pain
But Id've had to miss
the dance

Yes my life
it's better let to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'dve had to miss
the dance//

Buffy looked down at the paper with tears in her eyes. She had no idea who had wrote this but it had touched her. She knew how the writer of this song felt. She dropped the paper on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked. She had seen how Buffy's eyes had turned when she read the letter. She was both concerned and curious to what was on the paper. When Buffy dropped it she reached for and read what was on it. She looked up at Buffy.

"Oh buff..." She embrased Buffy. Buffy broke down. Something in that song had got to her deep inside.

*************************************

It had been one whole week since the little white envelope had reached Buffy in a way no other thing had come close to. So you can understand how when she went to get her mail and saw the little white envelope resting in the chrome mail box how her heart was afraid of more pain. She grabbed for the letter but her hand couldn't go through with it. She rested her head against the rest of the students mailboxes in the wall. She tought over and over if she should read it. It had made her dig up feelings that she had buried and vowed never to think of again. But she knew that if she didn't read it she would regret it for the rest of her life.

***************************************

Once again she sat on her bed debating if she should open the letter. She had been string at it for some time now. Willow was at a Tara's and she was all alone. She pursed her lips and layed back on her bed, pulling the letter over her head. This little letter's brother had made her cry for almost 2 days. She had no desire to go through that again. But the little buffy int he back of her head told her. more like demanded her to open this letter. before she knew what she was doing she had carefully opened the top of the envelope and removed the paper folded into the thirds out.

She stared at the paper for a few minutes. Her body was on Auto-pilot. She was outside of herself. She could almost SEE herself looking at the paper. She came out of the trance and unfolded the letter.

\\ You and me
We used to together
everyday together
always

I really feel
that I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end

It looks as though
Your letting go
and if it's real well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what your saying
So please stop explaining
don't tell me cuz it hurts

don't speak
I know what your thinking
and I don't need your reasons
don't tell me cuz it hurts

your memories
they can be inviting
but some are altogether mighty
frightning

As we die
both you and I
with my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what your saying
so please stop explaning
don't tell me cuz it hurts

Don't speak
I know what your thinking
and I don't need your reasons
don't tell me cuz it hurts

It's all ending
we gotta stop pretending
who we are

You and me
I can see us dying
are we?

Don't speak
I know just what your saying
so please stop explainging
don't tell me cuz it hurts

no no
Don't speak
I know what your thinking
and I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cuz it hurts//

Buffy looked down at the paper. There was something familiar about the letters. She took out the other one from her dresser drawer. She looked at them to see any simalirities. She saw one that was as plain as day.

**************************

Angel was sitting in his office at Angel Investigations. Cordy and Wesley were off trying to find a Pegora deom's hideout. It was day so Angel had no where to go and couldn't get to sleep. He was reading the newspaper when two sheets of paper were set down on his desk. He looked up and saw Buffy looking down at him.

"Buffy! i mean.. Buffy, what are you doing here?"

"Did you think I was stupid?"

"no. What do you mea-"

" Angel. Those letters. Written on the same yellow stationary that you've had for centuries. Did you think I wouldn't figure it out?" As she said this she walked around the desk to where he was sitting.

"No. I mean... I HOPED you wouldn't find out, But I didn't think you were stupid."

Buffy was just too overcome with feelings. She couldn't resist it. She reached out and kissed him. She could feel how his body tensed up and then released as he wrapped his arms around her. They stayed like this for some time. Neither one of them wanted to let go. It was her who broke the kiss.

" What do we do now. You knew that if I heard from you I would fall back in love with you again. Not that I ever fell OUT of love with you but..."

Angel stopped her babbling with a kiss. He needed to feel those lips again. He had dreamed of it for so long. He just couldn't let her talk anymore. They locked hands and he felt the ring that was on her finger. She felt the two rings that he had on. She looked in his eyes and he looked back. She knew when she got that ring from Spike that some higher power would have a good reason for it. Now she knew that reason. As he carried her down the stairs all she could remember was the line from one of the letters: " Holding you, I held Everything."

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